Even when we have things going well in our life, the amazing mind very skillfully finds ways to make itself unhappy.
It does not, even for a second think of the possibility, that all the good things they currently have can go away in an instant. There could be death in the family, fortunes and finances can go away health issues etc. The world is full of untold misery.
So my philosophy is – I always think on a bad day -could it be worse? And I calm down. The good lord could easily make it far worse. And what choice do we have but to trod along.
However, be careful of your worst enemy. Your own mind and thoughts. It will give you reasons to be unhappy. It will justify its unhappiness. Even in marriage, you will want more and more from your spouse. You will want more and more money. You will find faults in relations. Find faults at work place. Colleagues.
This is the normal state of being for most minds. In order to be happy, for ordinary circumstances ( not war, huge upheavals etc), we need to change our mind. It is a long tedious process but must be done. Train the mind to look at the positives. Remind the mind, when you want more, you are craving more unhappiness. That is the trick of maya or devil. It tempts you and we fall for it, not realizing that happiness comes with 3 fold pain. Every day we must stop yielding to the unruly mind
- Constantly reaffirm, I will not yield to unhappiness or unhappy thoughts
- Be grateful. Things can be a lot worse Don’t wait or invite God to teach you this lesson by having things slip away from life
- Remind your mind not to want – be afraid of its wants. It is like inviting 3 fold misery. This is a difficult lesson to learn. Your mind can’t see the 3 fold misery you invited till it is there
- Never let your mind say to you, I will be unhappy until I get this wish fulfilled. Many people do that “in love” promotions, etc. It works itself up, stays unhappy, even when everything else is good because one thing is missing in life.
- Remember, no one , no one has every wish fulfilled.
I recently read about the tragic life of Judy Garland from Wizard of Oz. She was exploited all her life by family and her work. With all the fame, her life was very challenging. People have no shame – In this cut throat world. (read about her life)
So my lesson is – don’t crave much in this world. Try to learn to remain calm. It is a skill set that only comes with much practice. With calmness, when truly done well, it comes with a few extra ordinary gifts. The gift of getting your wishes fulfilled. But the calm mind wants nothing. It knows that a desire is destruction of calmness. There are more, but you should find it within you
Granted calming the mind is not easy. The technique or pranayama helps. The tiger mudra is another help. Determination not to be in this cycle of life and deaths gives further strength on the path. Bring in the company of the right people is essential. Most people will nudge you to do things but no one will nudge you to some self restraint. Being afraid of the cravings of the mind and giving up all cravings is a big help. This can be done actively.
A word of caution about pranayama. It is better to do it with guidance from a true Guru. I have seen many people talk about pranayama and promote it. I discourage that. There is a secret to teaching pranayama – a secret step.
All grief is directly or indirectly from the mind. Control of the mind is very difficult. But possible. There are steps. You most learn it from a Guru