A few tips to help deal with it.
In the end run nothing helps except being one with God.
Painful situations in life are ONLY yours. NO ONE can help you. The sooner you come to terms with this, that no one can help you, you will stop seeking help from anyone except your Guru or God or someone with self realization.
When we mourn for someone who passes away, we mourn OUR loss. This is very selfish. For the person who moved on, it may have been best for him. Do not get selfish and hold the soul of the person who passed away, by mourning his or her absence. Say a prayer for the person who passed away and send them your love and wish them well. Mourning for the departed is not a good idea.
Remember, the central quote in the bible. Thou shall love God with all they heart and all thy might. We often miss or have an intense “love” for the departing soul. It is Gods friendly way of reminding us that we did not love God all our heart. We gave a part of our heart to his “Gift”. After all, the people we love are gifts loaned to us by God. God reserves the right to take back his “loan” After all, at times, a change in circumstances can take the soul to an environment more suited to make spiritual progress or a change in body can help get rid of their pain of the body!
Death is synonymous with birth. The moment the soul leaves the gross body, he or she moves on to the subtle body. Is it to be mourned? What is to be mourned is if you did not do good karma and your subtle body goes to the lesser worlds where there is more pain than that which exists here!. Unfortunately, for all those who are very selfish, who had greed that is the way they go. I feel sorry for them and they just as much as have my love !
I am at a conference and I find that there countless people, whose only goal in life is their restricted vision of this world. I feel sorry for them. They live life, having no goal, no idea of the higher worlds that exist a world that gives a better life. They remain satisfied and deluded by thinking they believe in God or their Guru and have not worked at all to cleanse themselves. Who can help them ? It reminds me of what Vivekananda said, “Let the Bruts enjoy the world like only they know how to enjoy it.”
Change your goal and seek only God. Not just for a day, a few days but all your life, every second or minute of your life. Make that and that alone your goal. It can be done even while you perform your duties. It can be done even in your “sleep”
There are many other subtle ideas about death which Gurudev has described in Yogamruta. When I translate that book, I can write more about it. Oh the mysteries that have escaped the small intellect of the humans!
I will end by a quote by Kabir – Grief not when I go, I should grieve for you. (It starts off by saying, when I was born, the world laughed and I cried. Perform deeds such that when it is time for you to go, you laugh and the world is left crying)
Bhavin